Well, today I lost my fourth cat to a foster dog. It's probably a bad time to be writing this, because I'm very angry. I created an art piece last time, entitled "Who Died and Left YOU Boss?" about my foster Spotty, click the title to take you to it. That time they killed Purrsia, who is the sister of Exhia.
Exhia died today. She was featured in another art piece called "The Dog Doesn't Agree", because she had such a 'crush' on our Akita and used to knead in her fur with her claws and try to suckle at her belly. The dog didn't like it, but never tried to hurt her...
I wish I knew how to handle this. I just don't want to foster anymore, because I can't handle them killing my cats. It's not fair to the cats...they are NOT LESS than the dogs, but it sure seems like they are. Cats have always been my soul...I relate to cats, they are independent, fierce, loving when they want to be. But when a dog is set on killing one, if there is no escape route, they don't have a chance.
It must have happened between 8:00 a.m. when Kim was out cleaning up the yard, and 11:00 a.m., when I got home from some errands. She shut Spotty and the new rottie Atlas out in the yard for awhile with Beauty. Big mistake. Spotty is the one who helped kill Purrsia, and all three of these dogs are bad with cats. Exhia probably tried to come in the doggie door, but it was closed and they trapped her.
I feel like it is my job to protect them, and I failed again. When I was a child, my dad killed all of our cats, one of which was a striped tabby like Exhia...she was my cat, named Streaker. Streaker was very shy, and really only loved me, because I spent a lot of time out in the barn with her. But because the cats all sat outside the door to the house wanting to get in, and my mom didn't want them in, my dad killed them all. I think since that time, I'm very protective of my cats (and my kids!).
But how do I stop fostering? As the leader of the org, I feel it's my duty to set a good example. Still, I've done it for four years...and have paid a heavy price for it. Maybe it's time to stop fostering until we get the funding to build our training center, and in the training center there will be no cats, for their own protection...I don't feel it's fair to me, my family, or the cats that we have to go through this pain over and over again.
Friday, April 28, 2006
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Career vs. Family
Last night I make my first-ever PAID speech, at Indiana University of Pennsylvania in PA. How exciting! And I did quite well, considering that in the past public speaking was my greatest fear in all the world, me and about 700 million other people. I even was able to ad-lib a bit, although then I had a struggle to get back into line with my notes.
I think I've joined the ranks of those who, if not out and out thrilled by it, are finding their way to acceptance, and am now looking at ways to better myself in this arena. Most of the speaking engagements I've done to this point have been free, just as a way to get our message out. It's such a great feeling to finally be paid for it! And, part of the money was for me as an artist, which was neat too, a double blessing.
I signed up for a seminar this weekend in Philly by Nathan Winograd of No-Kill Solutions. I've long been a fan of his amazing work, and was looking forward to meeting him in person. But herein lies the rub...Rayne's first Little League game of the year is Saturday, plus it's my weekend to have the kids. So I'm faced with the eternal parental struggle...to put more time into my career, or more time into my family.
It's very important to Rayne that I come to his games, he's made that abundantly clear. I usually do make all of them unless I'm scheduled to speak or something for DDB. I'm sure I'll be missing a few for those reasons in May, and since I was just going as a participant to the No-Kill seminar, I guess you can see who wins out this time. Rayne. And he's worth it. He's the best kid I could ever ask for!
I think I've joined the ranks of those who, if not out and out thrilled by it, are finding their way to acceptance, and am now looking at ways to better myself in this arena. Most of the speaking engagements I've done to this point have been free, just as a way to get our message out. It's such a great feeling to finally be paid for it! And, part of the money was for me as an artist, which was neat too, a double blessing.
I signed up for a seminar this weekend in Philly by Nathan Winograd of No-Kill Solutions. I've long been a fan of his amazing work, and was looking forward to meeting him in person. But herein lies the rub...Rayne's first Little League game of the year is Saturday, plus it's my weekend to have the kids. So I'm faced with the eternal parental struggle...to put more time into my career, or more time into my family.
It's very important to Rayne that I come to his games, he's made that abundantly clear. I usually do make all of them unless I'm scheduled to speak or something for DDB. I'm sure I'll be missing a few for those reasons in May, and since I was just going as a participant to the No-Kill seminar, I guess you can see who wins out this time. Rayne. And he's worth it. He's the best kid I could ever ask for!
Sunday, April 23, 2006
Gettysburg and Rottweilers
Rayne, my 12 year old son, and I went to Gettysburg this weekend. Our Gettysburg rep went to a seminar, and was kind enough to lend us her place to crash Thursday and Friday nights. We had a great time, except for something that Rayne will kill me if I mention....which led to a fair amount of arguing.
We did the double decker battlefield tour, and lasted about 2/3 of the way on the top of the bus, before we decided freezing our buns off wasn't our idea of a good time. It rained all day Saturday and now today, so we were lucky to get it done on Friday. I definitely liked the electric map overview of the war, gave me some idea what exactly happened and where. I also bought the movie Gettysburg while I was there, and plan to watch it soon now that I'm more familiar with the whole thing.
On the way home I met someone to pick up a rottie that had lived a chained life in PA. He had the evidence of an embedded collar, and was so skinny I didn't even recognize he was a rottie at first, until I saw his massive head. Luckily, Adio had gone home with his new parents from Rhode Island Saturday morning, and that allowed me to bring the new guy in with less stress overall. He's doing great with the other dogs, he's pretty submissive for a big boy, and OK with the cats...a bit too interested, but I don't think it's anything I can't handle.
This morning he did something I've never seen before. I bathed him, as he stunk to high heaven. After he was all done and I'd cleaned up the bathroom, he came back up and jumped back IN the bathtub! That was a first...normally they never want to step foot in that bathroom again, the scene of their ultimate horror...the cleansing ritual.
We did the double decker battlefield tour, and lasted about 2/3 of the way on the top of the bus, before we decided freezing our buns off wasn't our idea of a good time. It rained all day Saturday and now today, so we were lucky to get it done on Friday. I definitely liked the electric map overview of the war, gave me some idea what exactly happened and where. I also bought the movie Gettysburg while I was there, and plan to watch it soon now that I'm more familiar with the whole thing.
On the way home I met someone to pick up a rottie that had lived a chained life in PA. He had the evidence of an embedded collar, and was so skinny I didn't even recognize he was a rottie at first, until I saw his massive head. Luckily, Adio had gone home with his new parents from Rhode Island Saturday morning, and that allowed me to bring the new guy in with less stress overall. He's doing great with the other dogs, he's pretty submissive for a big boy, and OK with the cats...a bit too interested, but I don't think it's anything I can't handle.
This morning he did something I've never seen before. I bathed him, as he stunk to high heaven. After he was all done and I'd cleaned up the bathroom, he came back up and jumped back IN the bathtub! That was a first...normally they never want to step foot in that bathroom again, the scene of their ultimate horror...the cleansing ritual.
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
I Am Unseen: A Chained/Penned Dog Presentation
I finished the I Am Unseen song, written by Rocky Shepheard and sung by Heidi Pollyea. I just realized, and this is TRES embarrassing, given that I've just lived with the guy for two years...that I spelled Rocky's name wrong on the song and on the cover art page! Oops...don't you just hate it when someone spells your name wrong? It makes me feel like I'm unimportant...crap. I wouldn't want to do that to anyone, now I feel bad, but don't want to go in and revise it all again...Oh, well, I'll have to do that before I run out the next batch and debut the song on the internet. Oddly enough, he looked at his name when I wrote it, and he didn't say anything (of course, he needs glasses to see and won't admit it). Maybe it's right on the movie file but not on the cover, I hope so.
I really love the song...granted, I've listened to it 10,000 times by now, so maybe I was forced to love it or hate it. I'll be interested to see what others think of it.
You can order it with the rest of our presentation now at our store, the link is above.
Brynnan had me writing love notes back and forth over the weekend. It was fun, and really had me reaching for sweet things to say to her. She wrote this note to me "Wrcing for Dogs Devre Badr is the Bast shing tht afr hapind to me, evind mor van jooping on the vraplen. Love, Brynnan". Which, for you non-six-year-old having parents, translates to "Working for Dogs Deserve Better is the best thing that ever happened to me, even more than jumping on the trampoline." Isn't that just the sweetest thing you've ever heard? Friday she was 'working for DDB', and she created a new piece of art for me to sell on our cafepress store (visit the site to see this), plus Kim had her putting stamps and labels on envelopes, and cutting donation receipts and thank yous...simple things that a child can do. Just goes to show you how making the effort to include children in what you're doing can really make a difference in their lives, really make them feel good about themselves!
I really love the song...granted, I've listened to it 10,000 times by now, so maybe I was forced to love it or hate it. I'll be interested to see what others think of it.
You can order it with the rest of our presentation now at our store, the link is above.
Brynnan had me writing love notes back and forth over the weekend. It was fun, and really had me reaching for sweet things to say to her. She wrote this note to me "Wrcing for Dogs Devre Badr is the Bast shing tht afr hapind to me, evind mor van jooping on the vraplen. Love, Brynnan". Which, for you non-six-year-old having parents, translates to "Working for Dogs Deserve Better is the best thing that ever happened to me, even more than jumping on the trampoline." Isn't that just the sweetest thing you've ever heard? Friday she was 'working for DDB', and she created a new piece of art for me to sell on our cafepress store (visit the site to see this), plus Kim had her putting stamps and labels on envelopes, and cutting donation receipts and thank yous...simple things that a child can do. Just goes to show you how making the effort to include children in what you're doing can really make a difference in their lives, really make them feel good about themselves!
Monday, April 17, 2006
Breaking Up is Hard to Do
My boyfriend and I are breaking up...after many failed attempts to make it work for the past two years. Yesterday was the moving out day, Easter...what a joy! It was also the day of crying (him), begging (him again), and bitching (you guessed it, me). Turns out he says he's going to live in his car...not sure what's up with that or if he'll really follow through. More on that later.
So today I did cry, as I'm working on a new song he wrote just for Dogs Deserve Better. He is very creative, I'll give him that. I'm 'renovating' our presentation video/dvd, which you can buy on our store at http://www.dogsdeservebetter.org/store.html. If you buy it now I'll make sure that you get the new, updated version with the song I'm crying to! I love the music, I think it's very beautifully written, and hopefully will be very moving to others too. I'm working in Flash to combine it with images of chained and penned dogs, not the easiest program in the world to operate. I think it's turning out superbly, all in all. Especially given the fact that I haven't used Flash in forever, and had to relearn it for half of the day to even get going.
I have a speech at Indiana University of Pennsylvania Monday, hence the crunchtime work this week to get our stuff updated. Being a graphic designer, I work to deadline, always have. I keep a constantly revising log in my head of what has to be done next, what can be put off in order to get that done, etc., etc...so this week is the presentation video and our new song, "I Am Unseen", and also work more on the eBay auction and sponsor-hunting... begging more public figures and corporations for sponsorship.
Yesterday I got the guts to ask Jason Reitman, director of Thank You for Smoking, for sponsorship, since he mentioned how much he loves his dogs. He turned me down, but I survived it, which I guess is the important thing! Maybe I should keep a running log of how many rejections we get. It's all a numbers game...until you hopefully hit that one person who had a chained dog as a child and always pitied the poor thing, like my dog Maggie...or grew up next to one and never did anything about it. That will be our sponsor!
So today I did cry, as I'm working on a new song he wrote just for Dogs Deserve Better. He is very creative, I'll give him that. I'm 'renovating' our presentation video/dvd, which you can buy on our store at http://www.dogsdeservebetter.org/store.html. If you buy it now I'll make sure that you get the new, updated version with the song I'm crying to! I love the music, I think it's very beautifully written, and hopefully will be very moving to others too. I'm working in Flash to combine it with images of chained and penned dogs, not the easiest program in the world to operate. I think it's turning out superbly, all in all. Especially given the fact that I haven't used Flash in forever, and had to relearn it for half of the day to even get going.
I have a speech at Indiana University of Pennsylvania Monday, hence the crunchtime work this week to get our stuff updated. Being a graphic designer, I work to deadline, always have. I keep a constantly revising log in my head of what has to be done next, what can be put off in order to get that done, etc., etc...so this week is the presentation video and our new song, "I Am Unseen", and also work more on the eBay auction and sponsor-hunting... begging more public figures and corporations for sponsorship.
Yesterday I got the guts to ask Jason Reitman, director of Thank You for Smoking, for sponsorship, since he mentioned how much he loves his dogs. He turned me down, but I survived it, which I guess is the important thing! Maybe I should keep a running log of how many rejections we get. It's all a numbers game...until you hopefully hit that one person who had a chained dog as a child and always pitied the poor thing, like my dog Maggie...or grew up next to one and never did anything about it. That will be our sponsor!
Sunday, April 16, 2006
Is Anyone Reading This?
This is my first attempt at having a blog...and with the millions of bloggers out there, my first thought is, will anyone ever read this? Who knows...who knows.
Something funny that my daughter, six, said to me the other day. We were jumping on the trampoline after a rain. I was doing the seated jumps, where you bounce down butt first and then back up, and was leaving 'butt tracks' on the trampoline. We started singing, "Mama's got a big 'ol butt, oh yeah...mama's got a big ol' butt" over and over again, you know that song. Later, after a bath, we started singing it again and she said to me. "No, but seriously Mommy, you really DO have a big butt." haha. I cracked up...kids say the darnedest things. (yeah, it really IS big!)
Still no takers on the sponsor needed for the DDB contest. I don't give up easily, though, and I DO expect to make this happen!
Something funny that my daughter, six, said to me the other day. We were jumping on the trampoline after a rain. I was doing the seated jumps, where you bounce down butt first and then back up, and was leaving 'butt tracks' on the trampoline. We started singing, "Mama's got a big 'ol butt, oh yeah...mama's got a big ol' butt" over and over again, you know that song. Later, after a bath, we started singing it again and she said to me. "No, but seriously Mommy, you really DO have a big butt." haha. I cracked up...kids say the darnedest things. (yeah, it really IS big!)
Still no takers on the sponsor needed for the DDB contest. I don't give up easily, though, and I DO expect to make this happen!
People Chained to Doghouses - Contest!
My first blog is just reiterating my profileon myspace.com, so you can get to know me if you pop by through the blogs...we REALLY HAVE to make this contest happen, so please, check out the links and send them to anyone you know who A. loves dogs B. has enough money or influence to sponsor this contest C. has a chained dog at home or lives near one; these two are our top two choices for contestants, but others will be needed too, so if you want a new car and have nothing better to do than be chained for up to two weeks over the 4th of July, go for it! Dogs Deserve Better
Current Mood cracks me up...one of my best friends from the service, Darren, once told me, after I asked him how I was dancing, that I danced very 'determined'. I guess that underlines my life, and this cause, this contest, makes me feel very 'determined'!
Currently, we are seeking a sponsor for our Chain Off 2006 Contest, in which 15 people will live chained to doghouses until only one is left, who wins a new car and raises awareness for our issue! Please go to www.dogsdeservebetter.org to find links to our sponsor pages, download flyers, and get a contest application. Hurry, our contest starts over the July 4th weekend, and we need help and contestants lined up asap!
I am founder and executive director of Dogs Deserve Better, a national nonprofit organization dedicated to ending the chaining and penning of dogs, and bringing 'man's best friend' into the home and family. I currently live in rural Pennsylvania, and credit my animal advocacy to a childhood living with the tragedy I work againsta sad, chained beagle (Maggie) and a beloved black lab (Gally) and cats, all living outside and longing to be in.
I started Dogs Deserve Better because of Bo, formerly Worthless, a black lab mix I was later able to rescue and who lived as part of my family until passing in 2003. If my heart didnt break every time I drove past his beautifully sweet face for six years, I would still be seeking my mission today. To read more about the work and programs of Dogs Deserve Better, go to http://www.dogsdeservebetter.org.
My animal-advocacy-focused art has produced 27 pieces and 4 series to date, among which are: Little Girl Looking, which documents my journey from that of a young girl who does not see or care about the plight of the animals to an adult who now, even in the midst of pleasure, cannot forget their pain; and the New Orleans After Katrina Series, which reflects the feelings of rescuers in the wake of the tragedy and my experiences from rescuing there in November 2005. My art site can be reached at http://www.littlegirllooking.com. Art of Tammy Grimes
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